....and by "I" I mean this blog. I'm more than halfway through my first year of motherhood. It's harder than I expected, and so I'm constantly seeking counsel, affirmation, re-affirmation, and guidance. My mom actually didn't work the first 5 years of my life, nor did my husband's mom. As I think about me and my friends, I think we need a rolodex of role models. Clearly for decades and generations (and heck, ever) women have been mothering and working and wifing. Still, I wonder how they did it then, and how women are doing it now.
So I find myself asking other moms again and again, "how do you do it?". I thought it would be great to capture some of these answers because often I've found some really helpful advice and support...and I just need more of it.
I also thought a diverse collection of answers would be useful because while some of the responses I get really resonate with me, others don't. Some answers prove that other working moms are simply better than I am (e.g. "I wake up at 3:30 in the moring every morning and start my day..."). Other answers make me wonder what happened to my mommy instinct (e.g. "I just couldn't imagine going back to work after he was born"). But I know these answers are totally legit and would totally resonate with another mom....or even me depending on the day/month/year!
I figure if there is a place with enough diverse answers from diverse women, women will be able to find answers that fit with who they are, and with what their lifestyle, hopes, dreams, mental and emotional capacity are. Or selfishly, at least I will find answers!
This will constantly be a work in progress...and disclaimer: this work is being progressed by a mom with a relatively demanding job so progress may sometimes be slow :-).
Still, I hope this becomes living, breathing, and useful.
All the best,
Wondering Mama
How Do I Do It?
ReplyDeleteThree kids, and seven years later, I still ask myself this. I was also lucky enough to have my mom stay home with me until I was in middle school. And face it…we have a lot to live up to when our moms are concerned. They were Super Moms!! But times have changed. Kids…even babies, have their own little schedule that you have to keep up with on top of your own. Life is just busier. And every mother’s parenting style is different. You have to find what works best for you and Selah! I have been the working mother. I worked a very demanding job that would have me working all hours of the night, and on weekends. And I have also been the stay at home mom….very long days of no adult interaction with anyone but a child. Thank goodness in November I found something that is a median for me. I now work only part time and this has been a huge blessing. Ask my sister Amanda, she will tell you I am one of the most ANAL people she has met. Well, I had to learn to give up some of that as more kids started to come along. I started paying attention to what is more important. Is it more important that I vacuum the house daily, or is it important that I sit down and take the time to play a game of cards with my son? Is it more important, that I make that big home cooked meal every night…or is it more important that I had the time to take the kids to the park and play with them after school? I started letting going over some of those things…that I felt I HAD to do…because my mom did, and the overwhelming feeling of getting all done began to ease up. Don’t get me wrong, I still keep a clean house, and the kiddos still get good home cooked meals like my mom made…I just learned it doesn’t all have to be done RIGHT THEN!! Also, talk to other mommy’s!! You will learn no mommy is perfect, and even as you look at other mom’s thinking…how do they do it ALL and keep their sanity. They will tell you that a piece of them is struggling inside to get it all done. No mom is perfect! And I would like to tell you it gets easier…but it doesn’t. The amazing thing is, just when you think you can’t take anymore…that you can’t stay up and give one more bottle, or you just can’t clean another mess off the floor…you receive an inner strength that keeps you going. And who knows, that strength may be hidden in a little smile, or as Selah gets older…a I LOVE YOU MOMMY!! And you still manage to do it all, and smile…and look forward to the next day.
Hang in there mommy!!!